Dating a man while going through divorce
If you make the effort once in a while, then he can sit back, relax, and enjoy the evening you planned. However, in my experience, finding people who understand the trials and tribulations of being in a relationship with a soldier is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Needless to say, soldiers place a LOT of value on loyalty.
Among my friends, I’ve had girlfriends who want to hook them up with soldiers in my guy’s regiment, guyfriends who ask me if he’s going to kill them if they flirt with me, and even coworkers who, shall we say, were less than supportive of the military in general. So if your guy has committed himself to an serious relationship with you, he’s most likely going to stick to that commitment, and he expects you to do the same.
That coupled with the stress and exhaustion that comes with Army life can make it hard for him to spend lots of time planning things for the two of you to do together.
Now, this does NOT mean you should boss him around.
What follows is some humble advice on how to cope with being the significant other of soldier. If you and your soldier are ready to enter a relationship, make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into. Both gave me a wealth of knowledge I otherwise would not have had. The time he has for you will be dictated by someone else entirely. Concentrate on these, and appreciate the time he’s allowed to have with you. And when he does let me in on the other things, I try to listen and not pry. Men who are stationed together are often closer than brothers. Don’t cling to your man like a backpack, and don’t emasculate him in front of his guys.
My boyfriend is stationed an hour away, and we only see each other on weekends. So if you get the big invite to meet them, treat it as though you were meeting his family. Don’t drink to much, don’t discuss politics or religion. Your man’s showing you off to some of the most important people in his life; do him proud. Making friends with the guys who serve with my boyfriend made Army gatherings twice the fun. Yes, we all know that a man who takes charge is appealing.
It’s giving him a backrub if he’s been doing hard PT all week. This conflict runs through a soldier’s mind every day. But simply telling him you’re proud of him, and meaning it, will say so much more. If you’ve decided to enter a relationship with a soldier, congratulations. As my soldier recently put it, some the toughest jobs in the Army belong to the women who date, or marry into, it. I knew going into this that I wouldn’t see him for long periods of time. He has only been gone for 4 weeks and its already starting to tear me apart. Well anyways we met a long long time ago, the very first time that we met I was a freshman in h.s.Your guys may not get why you can’t hang until three in the morning anymore. For someone they care about to dump on those ideals is like a kick in the gut with a steel-toed boot. I used to love the miniseries Band of Brothers, and would occasionally turn it on in the background if I I was working. This will probably be true for you, and even your guy, as well. I will not see him again until January when his Basic and his AIT is finished. My car is now decked out in Army logos and I’ve written on my car windows that I’m a proud Army Girlfriend.Hopefully, you have a few close friends who’ll try to understand your new lifestyle. So if you can’t remain true, forget the whole thing and move on with your lives. Then, after falling in love with a medic, this changed, and it really caught me off gaurd. Certain movies, television shows and video games were suddenly off limits in my house, because they disturbed him or gave me nightmares. This is true of any relationship, but it can mean so much more to a soldier. His name is Eric, we’ve been together for almost 2 years and I’ve known he wanted to become a solder since the day we started dating. But I feel like the Army doesn’t care about the girlfriends, only the wives and children of the soldiers. I’m proud of my soldier and I tell him that in every letter.And so to me it just reflects the truth—in fact, to me it reflects the truth so much more than anything with a serial killer. I know they’re out there, but I’ve actually never met one, whereas I know so many people who are dealing with a mother with cancer, or a brother who is ill, or a sister who had a mastectomy. Do you think that’s a reason readers are drawn to your stories? I like the fact that when he’s writing, he never loses sight of the fact that he’s telling a story that’s meant to engage the readers. I would like to think I’m the kind of person who tends to be more romantic than not. I open doors, I send flowers, I don’t forget anniversaries, I remember things, Valentine’s Day… What assumptions do you think readers make about you that aren’t true? I do various aerobic work, I do a lot of weights, sparring, Taekwondo-type stuff. Oh, my next novel, the one I’m working on—and I very seldom tell anybody—but what I can say, look: It’s gonna be a love story, it’s gonna be set in North Carolina, and it’s gonna have some characters that I think you’re really gonna like, flawed and all.